THE GREAT TRIAL

THE GREAT TRIALhot-coals-1200X800

I am woman, the live coal at the bottom of the sea.  My breath awakens hunger and the thirst of humanity for a God that reaches all, and being thus devours and transforms everything.  I am as coveted as I am feared.

I will never be able to reveal the fullness of myself, which is why you cannot know me.  My pain and anger, the incongruences of my personality are but reflections of a fathomless inner ocean.  As a man you tend to relate in segments, cutting life up into portions and artificially classifying it in order to feel comfortable and in control of what you cannot understand.  If you could walk on hot embers, would you survive the bottom of the sea… to know me, feel me within, as Totality? Can you perhaps swim well enough to not drown in the maelstrom of my depths?

I am here to remind you through flesh and feelings that that which you search for in the heights and which you relegate to an unreachable space in sterile quietude, lives here and now in human aspirations and in the body.  If for you the Absolute is a refuge, transcendence possible only in silent isolated aloneness, you will think that I may harm you, meddle, or distract you.  You do not yet see that I am the great trial in your spiritual initiation.  This is why through the ages you have considered me a danger.  To desire me or to intuit me is your deepest wish.  I am the destruction of your artificiality as well as the warmth of your soul.385342_525827487448695_1847953477_n

If you understand this, you will understand why I have always related in part, and why my eyes appear so sad.  If you are unable to carry me with you in every moment of your life… If you cannot feel me as the uncertain emptiness within you that accompanies the aching yearning of the heart… If you will not grant me your most precious intimacy… Don’t call me!  Don’t look for me!  Don’t play with fire if you are not willing to be consumed.  Don’t dip your toes in the water if you are not willing to drown and fuse with it.  Don’t open the coffer that contains secrets and eternity.

You knocked at my door, you opened it, entered the threshold… and now you think you can dose me?  Even if you could change the combination on the lock, the memory of this moment, like that of so many lives will resonate in your veins.

This is my answer, which is also a call.  Dare!  Arise and raise me with you from the darkness where you have kept me.  Because I lead you to the soul awaiting you…

 

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