KNOW THYSELF XXII: THE LEAP
Continuation of Know Thyself XXI “To Step Aside”
It is no longer enough to step aside and “see” oneself and one’s creations.
To be whole we need to rescue, integrate and become responsible
for the energies that the egoism of the personality
has usurped with its automatic conditioning and behaviour.
“The Leap” defines the end of the self-indulgence
that nourishes egoism.
INNER ALCHEMY teaches us to distinguish between the observer (a neutral state) and the thinker (ordinary thinking that reflects personal interests) in a continuous process of Introspection. It becomes difficult to do when the thinker poses as intelligent observer.
Thoughts weave together naturally, forming an automatic chain of progressive stimulation that seasons our life. We believe that they define us and that we control them, but they are self-indulgent, lazy, compulsive, sensual, obsessive and absorbing. They promise independence, self-sufficiency, and importance. Possessive and jealous, they construct a powerful self-absorbed identity that doesn’t leave much room for the free and altruistic consciousness of Being. They control us. Almost invisibly and automatically they take over. Their insistent repetition reinforces conviction.
The dynamic of thinking mobilizes and qualifies the physical, emotional, and mental energy fields that emanate from us according to our interests and priorities. They generate and perpetuate self-identity and its conveniences, becoming both a defensive and an aggressive weapon. Confirmed by a weighty sensory awareness that creates “attachment” and foments constant agitation, for a normal human being, removing the energy of this dynamic suggests privation from the physical intensity that defines him or her. To stop the momentum or the impulse of it is akin to applying the force required to stop a tsunami in full expression.
We are speaking about the “Elemental”, the personal construction that makes us believe we know all and are all-powerful. According to its reasoning, there are only two types of thought: the bad and the good. The “bad” reflects situations and subjects that bring discomfort: the “good” help us to adapt and protect our status quo, commenting, evaluating, and creating strategies of continuity. In principle, they convince us that in order to be happy we must bypass discomfort with promises or positive thoughts, creating an underground of uncomfortable opinions and sensations that are toxic for health and relationship, robbing us of spontaneity and authenticity. Both types of thought serve the same purpose: to create automatic behaviour.
A great deal of the content that goes through our mind has to do with what we do, with routine, obligation, surroundings, with our tastes and our relationships. Thoughts form conclusions, comparisons and strategies based on habit in such a way as to diminish inquiry, curiosity, sensibility and guarantee comfort and convenience. They assure the integrity of the Elemental deviating responsibility and blame onto others and the surroundings.
But, there is something smarter than the Elemental: Consciousness. In Inner Alchemy we focus on identifying where we place Consciousness and how we manage the thoughts that we generate. These thoughts are on the one hand responsible for the tension and instability they provoke, and on the other, when they are under the vigilance of Consciousness, they are responsible for intelligent perception.
The purpose of this process is the transformation of our energy into something constructive. For this to happen we need to develop the muscle of sensitive-observation by distinguishing the train of thought that awakens a kind of sensibility that is uncomfortable because it requires attention. It implies withdrawing the fuel we constantly give our problems, fears, opinions, inane and conditional commentaries that limit life to strict survival and sensory gratification.
The most difficult thoughts to identify are the comments and spontaneous criticism that accumulates to the point of creating an attitude; an invisible negativity of the type that drifts without control, feeding complaints, irritation with minutiae and small faults, always comparing and fantasizing. It is the ruminating reasoning that takes place after arguments and misunderstandings, disguising jealousy and envy.
Our “Leap” formula demands sensible-observation. We constantly ask, “who” (meaning the voice or thought) is holding the opinion, commenting, speaking. Is it the thinker or Consciousness as the sensitive observer?
In Inner Alchemy we make a habit of standing vigil over our thought processes; looking at ourselves and standing aside. Feeling ourselves feeling. To “see” ourselves transparently forces us to withdraw the energy that sustains automatic behaviour. Thus we put a stop to habitual triggers: offenses and desires that assure a regular dose of emotions and sensations. Nonetheless, for a few almost intolerable moments we don’t know how to control the tremendous forces that are liberated. This is where the second part of the work begins: sustaining not only the Consciousness but also the sensibility of the observer.
Process of liberation and rescue of our own energies: (the key resides in consciously sustaining physical and emotional voltages)
- Accept that thoughts – ALL OF THEM – are your own creation. Nobody forces you to have them.
- Identify their purpose: what is your personal investment and what is behind it.
- Distinguish the voice of the sensitive observer behind the self-indulgent thinker.
- Alternate the focus between the thinker and the observer and weigh the effects of each. Sustain Consciousness and all the energies that now unfold.
- Feel-observe the energies that this posture produces in your body, mind and emotions. This is the critical moment where the tendency is to fall again into the grip of the elemental for reasons of comfort or tiredness, like a drug addict.
- Sustain the voltage (emotional, mental and physical). Focus only on the energy. Perceive it as continuous flow, without labels. (Every label feeds the Elemental’s reasoning). Hold your attention on the Alchemical Alignment, on that passage of Consciousness that courses though all your centres and your body. This is the most difficult part, being that everything in your body strives to find a reason to escape, explain itself, blame, and justify.
- Keep your attention on the powerful neutral posture that you are now imposing under the vigilance of the Consciousness of the observer.
- Affirm in full consciousness:
(owning all your energies)
I am all that I create at any moment
These are my creations and my energy
I am all that
(dis-identifying yourself from the meanings)
I am NOT those thoughts and these sensations do not define or control me (repeat it many times)
I AM the Consciousness that observes
I AM the Power that creates and controls
Now rescue the energy within your creations, removing the previous labels (meanings).
- Once you feel stable, repeat the following affirmation various times with neutrality and power:
I AM THE ONLY POWER RESPONSIBLE
FOR MY WORLD
Become aware of the reality you are now producing and recognise the effects on your life with each thought. Make the Leap towards a conscious life.
- Sustain that focus of Consciousness while you breathe deeply and you complete neutralising of the FULL charge of the Elemental.
Recognise and accept the Power of Consciousness. It is yours.
You require only an instant to LEAP, free yourself, retake your Power, and find your authenticity.
A STUDENT’S PERSONAL EXPERIENCE: Demo-session
Background: I had entered into a battle with myself and my habitual reaction when I feel criticized and judge it is unfairly. No matter how much I analysed the situation, I was unable to change the tide of thoughts, sensations, and emotions of victimisation that stirred within me. A huge combination of anger and impotence. I could hardly control my facial movements.
Zulma: Align yourself.
I lived the alignment as something very physical, slow and deliberate. At that moment, I felt the Figure of Light as a connection to the Earth (roots) producing stability and a source of vitality. I needed that sustenance and support. I recognised that my state was the product of my thoughts but was unable to control them. I kept stoking the fire.
Z: Breathe deeply. What are you feeling at this moment…? Is there a physical blockage…? No, don’t dissolve it; allow it and intensify the sensation. Hold it.
As I deepened awareness into my body, I noticed it was empty and constricted. There was an energy accumulation at the solar plexus in orangey-reddish tones. Hot. A terrible rage.
Images flooded me of an energy coming out of me and destroying everything around me, with all the possible pain. Also with the fear of what I was capable of doing.
Z: Be honest with yourself. Don’t justify what you are thinking or feeling, don’t try to “fix it”. Denude yourself before what is happening.
The strongest emotion is rage for not being able to get out of that state, but I am aware that it is a usual justification. I feel terrible impotence at not being able to fulfil expectations, of failing in the evaluation, of being exposed… of my own impotence.
Z: Continue breathing deeply. Feel that accumulation of energy, and instead of rejecting it, make it yours. Sense how it feels to know that you have created this. It is your force and your energy.
Slowly, with the help of the deep breathing, regardless of the elemental’s resistance, which oscillates rapidly, my energy becomes rounder, even circular throughout my body, without losing its force. I notice a tickling sensation beneath the skin.
Z: Now own your actual state, all the energies, all emotion – that of anger, the pain of being the abandoned little girl behind it… Feel it all without justifying it. Simply observe it. Allow yourself to express it, if you need. If you need to cry, cry, but do not feed the thoughts. Allow the tears to flow and observe.
I feel, I cry… Meanwhile I continue breathing and attempt to contain all that moves within me. Everything is in motion. Thoughts constantly crisscross my mind, I listen to the process of my fellow participants, I lose myself, I come back to my intention… all of it rapidly and silently.
Z: Don’t lose yourself in other people’s process. Stay in your experience of yourself. Place yourself within the walls of your Tube of Light.
I do just that and become aware of an inner dialogue…
Elemental 1 – This is why I “sell myself”, I can’t tolerate another’s suffering
Elemental 2 – Let go of the thought, you are again hooking into…
Elemental 1 – It’s just that I can’t isolate myself…
Elemental 2 – Simply do what you are asked
Elemental 1 – Is it over? Let’s see if I am being foolish…
Elemental 2 – They are all excuses, you’re just looking to justify yourself, you only want to do it “right”!
And at the same time, a third voice silently observes the whole show, with a serenity that is foreign to the frenetic inner activity. Zulma looks at me and I sustain myself in her eyes.
I continue breathing deeply. In occasions I see the elemental’s movement as a purple-reddish tone behind my eyes.
At one moment I attempt to “raise” my consciousness, to do what I think I should do, but it drops like a rocket without sufficient fuel, unable to arrive anywhere. I notice that it is yet another effort of the elemental to take control of the situation and fix it in its way, evading.
Z: Don’t try to rise anywhere. It is unnecessary. Just open to all that has been generated and allow it to build up inside of you.
Repeat: I AM THAT again and again.
“I AM THAT, I AM THAT”…
I affirm it inwardly, more desperately than self-assured, wanting to recover and be as I know that I can be.
Z: All of this, you are… all of it is… yours!
I laugh, I cry…
Z: This also is part of you… Be a happy “tank”!
I burst out laughing. This is yet another of my constant fears, to be too strong, that others will see me as a “tank”!
In accepting this, my perception rises and widens. I notice a fluctuation, almost like vapour over my head, and I open to it, while I continue repeating “I AM THAT I AM”.
I can feel an integrity, a powerful serenity… I feel whole with my energies…
I am me.