Man bathed in light and roadwayWe don’t learn the things that we think we learn; we learn what we are, foremost as woman or man, and then, through the inner unfolding of gender we attain to innumerable achievements that only Spirit understands.  Beyond our worldly realizations however, gender leads us through an obstacle course of ordinary impulses into realization through a very defined path that in no way depends on the actions of the other gender.

Socially, culturally, physically, and professionally, conditions may be the same for a man as for a woman, yet inner faculties call forth the awakening of unique energetic characteristics that lie encoded within. This is yet another device that Life offers us to compel us to learn management of faculties in two different and parallel ways.  Our inner faculties as gender forces come with the package of karmic characteristics we chose. The path of women and men through life consists in pursuing different inner routes.

A woman’s journey begins with an honest evaluation of herself as a person and ends in embracing expansiveness.  She begins with the particular and the concrete, and ends as the universal attribute of Love that lights the heart of humanity invisibly from within.  She attracts in order to entice the heart to love.  A man’s journey is almost the reverse.  Contrary to his impulse to construct and thrive on definitions, his actual journey begins with inner acceptance of himself without frills.   As Intelligence, he becomes the chalice for a presence that illumines the world without.


A woman must, first of all, learn emotional discernment and discrimination.  Instead of projecting herself and her needs outwardly, as she usually does, Consciousness requires that she learn how to administrate perception and expression of emotional force without diminishing it.  Sometimes she never goes beyond her receptive and often tragic conception of herself as centre.

A woman must learn to love herself for what she is rather than for what she represents.  Life permanently frustrates her when she seeks to do this through others, until she learns to love herself as an emanation of sentient-intelligence, without a target or an object of affection. Eventually, she comes to honour herself as she incorporates the sensitive mechanism of “feeling herself feeling” the world.

A woman who knows “what” she is spontaneously respects herself and knows who is worthy of her respect and her sacred trust.  Then a woman becomes an “Inner Woman”.  At the end, she incorporates the irradiating presence of Love everywhere within the many outer expressions of life.


A man’s journey starts when he acknowledges his innate capacity for physical and mental projection, his creativity.  His task begins by a simple yet difficult revelation: he “knows” and must discover himself “knowing”.  Instead of searching endlessly for knowledge and information, he must centre on himself without any specific label or certification added onto it.  This gives him a true sense of inner power, the direction towards his own realization.

A man’s challenge is finding someone to love.  Not just physically and not just anyone.  His journey consists in the state of loving he becomes, and in the nobility that arises within him.  He becomes his own Holy Grail and must win the love he strives for from this other one.  Beyond affection, a greater call comes forth to earn this person’s respect.  This will reflect the measure of his worth.

The greatest task is the last, learning to cherish the trust that his loved one and others deposit in him as an “Inner Man”. Only then may he be deemed worthy of being loved, respected and cherished by everyone, forever.  A man’s journey begins with knowledge and ends in Truth.


Gender Journeys



2 thoughts on “GENDER CHALLENGE

  1. Andy Sydow

    Dear Zulma, thank you so much for this post. A beautiful orientation to discern my task. A big eye opener to help me work with my male clients. Priceless. Thank you so much.

  2. theinnerwoman Post author

    By “journey”, here I am referring to the authentic spiritual process. We begin to tread the path only when we are wholly disposed to confront personal reality and refine the divine faculties inherent to each gender.
    Of course women and men contemplate the same Ultimate Reality, but we experience it in different ways.
    Woman begins her journey by honestly and carefully observing the particular ways that she manipulates emotionally, and the veils she projects between herself and her perception of reality. She understands how the energy that flows through her, as faculty, determines her environment. She recognizes her power and without extinguishing it, she modulates it with sensitivity. From that point onwards her actions in the world spontaneously convey greater sensitivity. She progresses through a path of refinement that elevates her into genuine compassion as a State of Being. Men do not manipulate through their emotions: they do so through the word and through physical projection.
    A man begins his journey understanding himself as a powerful force for execution beyond particular acts and purposes. In this way he neutralizes the automatic impulse towards the external world and unifies his forces inwardly. Before culminating in the perfection of intelligence (or perception), his real initiation occurs at the heart that refines and integrates his personality in relation to his surroundings (the world) and turns him into a practical instrument of Truth.
    Vulnerability need not be something negative. If a man has become aware of his inner center, when he arrives at the state of Consciousness at the heart and it asks for total receptivity, everything he learned as survival and essential functioning in the world will crumble, but he will not. This new vulnerability will confirm the fact that it is not his “doing”, or his “building”, what counts spiritually. Now, learning “to love” another person is a tremendously valuable tool that requires an expression of humility that will raise him to his true nobility. He will focus his actions towards this purpose. It is a device that forces him to refine his senses and deal with the supra rational. Whilst a woman rises by virtue of her compassion, beyond his projects or ideas a man “learns to love” through a very concrete task. What matters is the act itself and not the person he chooses to love.
    Neither the heart evaluation required to determine whether a person is “worthy of trust”, or the effort that is necessary to “win the trust” of someone, imply any kind of contract. We must forget about the concepts of dependency or need. The other person is always an instrument, no more no less. The journey is always alone. This is what society today needs to understand if we are to expand Consciousness. For a woman as well as for a man, to love does not suggest losing itself. For each it represents living its destiny with integrity.


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